Tuesday, June 12th, 2012

Single Parenting: Can A Dad Really Be A Mom?

Doing some comparative math in the weeks before Father’s Day, a recent study at Fordham University, United States, has calculated that the number of single-father families, around the world, has jumped up to 30-35 percent in the past decade. This declares that single dads are growing 6 percent a year-that’s double the rate for single moms. And this means almost 15 percent of men are running a ‘dad-only household’! But, despite all the facts, a question that pops in the mind immediately is ‘can a dad really be a mom?’

No matter how much you love and care for your bundle of joy, rearing a child is a difficult task under any circumstance and for a man, without a partner, the stakes are even higher. You are not only supposed to show the firmness of a male but you also need to show the gentleness of a female. Single dads are supposed to raise kids like moms do, which actually turns the scene upside down, making both, the kid as well as the dad very miserable. Sure, moms have a way of raising kids, but dads do too. So as a single father, try staying natural and simply remember to raise them as a ‘man’ would. To guide you better to handle the challenges, Guardian Health Chronicle comes to your rescue. Start reading!

Tips To Nurture a Confident Child

Adults and children do better when single parenthood is perceived as a viable option and not as a pathological situation. Follow the given tips to start with a positive attitude:

1. Talk a lot – You need to be open and completely honest with your children. Make them feel comfortable about asking your questions. Let them know its okay for them to wonder, and to ask questions. Most of all let them know that none of the events that happened is their fault. We all know children jump to that conclusion. It’s important to show them love and understanding during this time.

2. Keep your promises – Try recalling what it’s like to be a kid. When you asked your parents for something, and they didn’t follow through, you kept grudges. During this delicate point in a confusing child’s life, it’s no time for them to turn against you. Let them know you are always there for them, and they can trust you. Even if it is something small, your kids remember so better to keep your promises.

3. Adjust to waking up earlier – Most school buses come around 7:15 on average. Make sure you are up and ready before your children are. Have some breakfast on the table, and let them know that they aren’t alone. Wake them up for school, pack their lunch and etc. They depend on you now, even for the small things.

4. Set a chore chart - Adjusting to doing new things around the house can be a hassle. On top of working, and taking care of your kids, now there’s a whole house and clothes to take care of. Don’t let all of these things pile up. Make a planner or chart. Plan out each day, and what you’ll be doing. For example, you could do laundry every Monday and Wednesday, grocery shopping every Tuesday and Friday and etc.

5. Accept help - Most likely, there will be people to offer their help. You can’t do it all! Swallow your pride and take the gracious offer. They wouldn’t offer if they didn’t want too. Take it!

6. Create few strict routine structures such as scheduled meals and bedtimes — this helps your child know what to expect.

7. Set reasonable limits. Explain house rules and expectations to your child — such as speaking respectfully and picking up after yourself — and be careful to enforce them. Work with the other caregivers in your child’s life to ensure you’re providing consistent discipline. Consider re-evaluating certain limits, such as your child’s computer time or curfew, when he or she demonstrates the ability to accept more responsibility.

8. Don’t feel guilty. At time you may feel low about the situation but under any circumstances don’t blame yourself or spoil your child to try to make up for being a single parent.

9. Set aside time each day to play, to read or simply sit with your child.

10. Show your love. Remember to praise your child. Give him or her unconditional love and support.

11. Most important, never miss to take care of yourself. Include physical activity in your daily routine, eat a healthy diet and get plenty of sleep. Arrange time to do activities you enjoy alone or with close friends. You need not lost your personal self as it would get frustrating in long run.

12. Stay positive. Your mood and attitude can affect your child. It’s OK to be honest with your child if you’re having a difficult time, but remind him or her that things will get better. Try to keep your sense of humor when dealing with everyday challenges.

Try these great tips to make things a little easier and enjoy being a great ‘dad’.

- Write us at editor@guardianlifecare.com to share what would you like to read next.

Priya Singh

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