When Stork Visits Second Time

Expecting second baby is a different kind of experience altogether, but you need to make understand your first born on the nuances of getting a playmate to prepare her in the process.

Inner expressions

Just like other parents you would ask your little angel, ‘what do you want a brother or a sister?’ But your asking should be ‘Do you want a brother or a sister?’ After the birth of the second baby your first child may experience a range of emotions, from jealousy to excitement and even resentment.

· They might suck their thumb

· Drink from a bottle

· Forget their recent potty training skills

· Communicate using baby talk in an effort to get your attention.

· Your elder toddler may express their feeling by testing your patience, misbehaving, throwing tantrums or refusing to eat.

Causes

Prepare your child mentally for a sibling. No matter how old your first child is, the initial feelings will most likely be ones of insecurity and jealousy. There are many things that can contribute to a difficult adjustment:

Research indicates children with the closest relationships with their mothers show the most upset after the baby is born.
Children with a close relationship with their father seem to adjust better.
Your child’s developmental stage may affect how well they can share your attention. Often two-year-olds have lots of trouble getting used to a new baby, because their needs for time and closeness from their parents are still great.
· Stress on the family can make your older child’s adjustment harder.

Healing touch

Spend quality time with your child and pay your valuable attention to her. Some family therapy can help ease the transition for your child. Here are some things you should do to help prepare your older child:

Tell your child about your pregnancy when you tell your friends. Your child needs to hear about it from you, not from someone else.
If you plan to move your child to a new bed and or bedroom, do so well before the baby arrives, so your elder child doesn’t feel displaced by the baby. This also goes for any other major changes, like weaning and toilet training.
Check with your hospital about sibling preparation classes and hospital tours.
Give them a realistic idea of what to expect when the baby first arrives. You will be tired, and the baby will take lots of your time. The baby will not be able to do much at first, except eat, sleep, poop, pee and cry. At that moment of time the baby will not be a playmate.
Read books about pregnancy, birth, newborns, and baby siblings with your child. Give them a chance to ask questions, voice concerns, and vent feelings inspired by the books.
Show your elder child the photos and videos of her birth as well baby hood. Tell her about her birth and what she was like as a baby. Share with her how excited you were when she was born, and how everyone wanted to see and hold her.
Have your child practice holding a doll and supporting the head. Teach her how to touch and hold a baby very gently.
Arrange special time just for you and your elder child. This might involve a trip to the library, grocery store, or simply reading a few extra stories at bedtime. Your partner can help you by caring for the baby during these times.
Assure your older child that although the new baby needs lots of attention, there will still be plenty of time and love for him or her.

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