Tuesday, July 5th, 2011

Wife Wants Husband Denies!

husband_wife_2881_fAt times even the happiest matrimonial relationships can be starved of sex. And the culprit is not the woman, rather the man. Many women stay in marital relationships feeling lonely and devoid of intimacy because their husbands’ are just not interested in initiating sex with them. The women doubt themselves, rush to gyms and beauty salons to get an enviable figure and beautiful complexion, buy a new wardrobe, still the love sparks fail to ignite the ‘man’. If you too are caught in a‘sex-starved’ relationship take heart, because you are not alone…….

My Health Guardian talks to experts, who give ‘couple-tested solutions’ to rescue your marriage. All these solutions take the basic presumption that the couple is faithful to each other.

1. Brew it syndrome

Dr. Arti Anand, clinical psychologist with Ganga Ram Hospital says, “It’s okay for the initial fire to subside with time. As couples spend many years in marriage, the relationship mellows and it becomes synonymous with comfort.” This will have repercussions on your sex life too. Do not blame yourself if your husband is not taking sufficient interest in you. The man must be fighting his own battles, which he refuses to share with anybody, suggests Dr. Anand. May be the intrinsic difference between the nature of men and women is responsible for it. Women share their problems, whereas men brew, says she. Naturally, when you are seething over something (missed promotion, crappy boss) sex is not on your mind. For men sex is very much related to his ego. How well he fares at work is important for the man to perform well between the sheets, addsDr. Anand laughingly.

What the woman should do
There isn’t much woman can do except talking to the man. When he’ll share his feelings, he’s going to feel lighter and this will help him brighten up too. Besides, unburdening the baggage will help the man see things in a better perspective. Do remember that nagging is not going to help, cautions she.

2. Lifestyle check

We are always in a hurry and add to it the burden of worry, comments Dr. Rajan Bhonsle, Mumbai based eminent sexologist. The long work hours coupled with inadequate nutrition begin to take toll on health. If the man is feeling tired most of the time, it’s quite probable that sex will not be his cup of the tea.

What should the woman do?

Besides, hearing out the worries of your man, you should pay attention to what he eats. Start packing home cooked nutritious meals for him. Junk food eaten at work will not help him get adequate nutrients. Moreover, get a high quality multivitamin to offset nutritional deficiencies, suggests Dr. Bhonsle.

3. Looks don’t lie

In Indian scenario, many women put on weight and don’t do anything about it after childbirth, which is just not right. As responsibilities multiply, women also tend to become laidback about their appearance. Men do come to me complaining about their wives’ looks and their weight, shares Dr. Bhonsle. Personal hygiene is another factor on which men can be quite sensitive, adds he.

What the woman should do
Maintaining weight and looks are critical for the self esteem of the person. Join a gym and knock off kilos for your sake. Get a haircut, a new wardrobe to look and feel good. As a bonus point, your husband’s interest will also renew in you.

4. Check your compatibility quotient

Many a time the husband and the wife are just not compatible with each other. Naturally, you can’t expect rocking sex life when the couple just can’t stand each other, reasons Dr. Anand. Many husbands confide in me that poor inter-personal relationship between them casts repercussion on their sex life. If the family of the wife gets too nosy between the affairs of the couple, the husband may feel threatened. Also the legendary tiff between mom-in-law and daughter-in-law, if it becomes too often will be difficult for the poor man to digest, depriving him of the sex drive.

What the woman should do

We are not asking you to start loving your mother-in-law, but a bit of cordiality will not hurt anyone. You also need to form boundaries on what you should share with your mom and what you shouldn’t.

5. Health wise

Active sex life is reflective of your overall health. Many a time, premature ejaculation can be a symptom of a health condition lurking inside the body. If the man is on prescription medicines to regulate cholesterol and blood pressure, his sex drive may dampen. If your man is completely disinterested in sex, he may need to go for a testosterone checkup, suggests Dr. Bhonsle.

What should the woman do

Perennial lack of desire should be viewed with caution. In fact, you should go ahead and get a health check fixed for the man of your life.

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Category: Sexual Health
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